Just found this website and what a great place it is! It is so reassuring to know such a supportive place for those going through breakups.
This was the 3rd time I have had my heart broken but this time was different.
It is now 3 years since my boyfriend at the time delivered his bombshell, I had no idea it was coming. He was the love of my life (so I thought). We had been together 4 years and we had the most wonderful exciting life. One night he phoned me (as he did every night we were not together) and said he needed time out of the relationship as his feelings for me had changed. There had been no indication of this, I asked why he had still been telling me he loved me if his feelings had changed – he said out of habit. I went into shock – couldn’t eat, sleep, function at all. Nothing he said made any sense they didn’t fit with the facts as I saw them.
I did all the usual things, talked & talked with family & friends, rang the Samaritans when I felt suicidal. There were so many unanswered questions & he wouldn’t answer the phone & only replied to my text messages by saying “Sorry I’ve hurt you”. I e-mailed him after 2 weeks & said I needed to know what the situation was. Eventually he replied & said the time he had spent apart from me had only confirmed that he no longer loved me. We arranged that he would bring my things back & I remember getting sleeping pills from my doctor to help me cope.
That night I was very ill so I texted him this morning & said please don’t bring my stuff over today as I am ill. He texted back saying “I am sorry but I need time to get my feelings sorted out”. This has totally confused me again as I thought from what he previously said that we were definitely finished. It seemed that he was just playing mind games with me. I have texted back something like: I will let you know when you can bring my things over”. The following morning I had my stuff packed in card boxes at my doorstep…
How unconsidered, after a relationship of 4 years… I was livid, shocked, disappointed, confused, sad, all at once…
I spent weeks crying and constantly checking my phone and email for messages, but contact from him never came.
My family and friends helped me a lot during this period. They took good care of me emotionally, they were there when I needed the most – that definitely helped ease the pain. But that doesn’t happen overnight, I guess when we go through such painful situations, it’s only logical that we are going to feel pain. What I am trying to say is that it seems to me that feeling pain, as horrible as it is, it’s part of the process, but that too shall pass!
And yes, today, I say it proudly #happyafteryou