My divorce was one of the most difficult things I had to go through, 5 years ago.
My husband of 14 years left our home we share with our son because he felt he needed some space. At that time I honestly thought he was going through some kind of middle life crisis, but it turned out to be something completely different.
He was going to the gym on a daily basis and I didn’t make much of it, but as he moved out to a rented property, I found out he was seeing another woman he met at the gym… When confronted about how long this was going on, he kept denying he was ever involved with this woman, ever! I gave him the space he needed, only to drive one day past her house and actually see him leaving and kissing her goodbye!
I was heartbroken… I shared my life with this man, I loved him so much, I wanted to believe his excuses, but couldn’t ignore what my eyes witnessed… I was devastated. I later found out he was seeing her way before he left our home. I wasn’t pleased with it, but can’t say I was surprised either.
To add to the disappointment and anguish I had to see my son going through this separation, as he was very close to his father. He would cry and refused to stay in with his father, it was very hard to deal with all of what was going on.
There’s so much going on during a divorce, we have our emotions to take into account, our child’s emotions, start dividing everything, finances, family, mutual friends,… Everything gets divided. You deal with far more than the pain of separation and it’s a lot to take in!
I used to come from work and sit in my bedroom crying and crying, it was exhausting. I believed that this pain would never leave me… it felt impossible to go on. I contemplated suicide but thankfully didn’t go through with it. 4 months later I was diagnosed with Major Depression, and soon after I started the medication, I also received therapy which for me was a great help.
I was in therapy for 1 year and took me a good 2 years to truly get over him, but therapy helped find my essence, who I was and who I wanted to be, helped me focus on myself and my child’s needs and helped me act on our needs. Going to therapy at that stage was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I learned to process, accept my suffering and learned to deal with it in ways that were constructive and overall healthy.
I have found love again and today I am happy in my relationship, something I once thought impossible! Comes to show that not everything we believe is real!
For those who are reading this, if you are having a tough time going through your divorce, ask for help, turn to your friends and family, and if you are still struggling really hard, don’t hesitate to look for professional help, it might be just what you need.