I broke up with my partner of 9 years, 2 and a half years ago, when our daughter was 6 years old.
He went out on a Saturday and never came back, no phone call no txt nothing. His mum phoned me to tell me he wasn’t coming back.
I haven’t seen or heard from him in a long time and it was killing me. He likes his drink and I would always kick him out because he wouldn’t come home, but he would always phone me begging for me to take him back and I would every time.
During our relationship he cheated on me several times and I have taken him back. He used to phone me saying he loved me and he wanted to be with me and that he was so sorry. So, for him to do something like this was just right out of character. After he left, I phoned him and all he had to say was it’s not working, I want to do my own thing and that he did love me and always will but not in love with me.
I felt broken and to make matters worse I didn’t have any closure at all. Just couldn’t understand how he went from loving me and wanting to be with me to suddenly stopping contact… It was really hard, and for some time I was trying to contact him to get closure, until I realised that my daughter was also suffering.
His mum would and still picks my daughter up, for him to watch TV or go out with friends… She hardly has any proper quality time with her father. Watching what his actions were doing to her, made me want to be a better mother and always show her she has got me. She can at least count on me for some emotional stability and that was a big motivator for me to get over him.
It was really hard, I cried many tears, I felt like giving up sometimes… but I didn’t. I suffered a lot, but eventually found my motivator, my daughter’s well-being, and in time I learned that I also needed to take care of my needs too. Today, I put all my energy into myself and my daughter.
I feel that reading this page, reading about other people’s experiences, helped me a bit to understand that all I needed was to work on acceptance rather than look for closure.
I can safely say I am better off without him.
Thanks everyone xx